[28 Feb 2006|10:43pm] i hate being a sophmore. i hate being part of 08. 08 SUCKS!! with a few exceptions, i hate sophmores. i used to try to look on the bright side and say that it is a blessing that i stayed back. i will have more time to grow up and learn before entering the real world. and im at the point where school is important to me, and i still have time to turn things around before "college", unlike some people i know, who it may be too late for, or more stressful for. but at the same time, i just want to move on. the age gap between me and some people in my grade is not that big, but it still seems like a lot. the fact thAt these people were born in 1990 bothers me, but i was only born in 1988. and it's stupid. because there are some people in this grade that are a lot more mature than me. but the gap is still there. a lot of these people still care about things that people shouldn't care about. like people think they're fucking awesome for stupid ass reasons. people are rude to teacherrs, instead of trying to see things from an adult point of view. i don't know. im so cynical. i feel bad. sometimes people's voices and presence annoys me, even though i guess they could be cool. and it's not like IM cool. i hang out with jef and danielle every day. but at least they don't care about stupid shit and try to fit into some sort of category. and talk like.. i don't know. none of this highschool shit matters once i leave at 2. these people who sit around and talk about... crap.. and that's all and their little voices, with the pinch of attitude. it's just silly. i sound like an angsty teen that hates the world <3 40000 comment

shiit [28 Feb 2006|10:01am] not much going on around. this weekend i bought myself a shirt and hung up my posters. i need my eyebrows done. I'd really like to splurge on something nice for myself. or save up. april is coming sooner than i think and if i wanted to i could get jeff somehting really nice for his birthday. i need to get my eyebrows done and i need a shelving area. i'm so glad 2nd term is over. i had so much stuff i had to get done, it was killing me. other than that, i'd like to tell you that im tired of not being charming, or deep. and school sucks but i might be getting excited about pottery. and eventually moving on......and that me and jeff are going to get married and have a hundred babes. BABES<3 comment

[12 Feb 2006|12:03pm] i dont know what to do. things seem worse. well today is ok. last night was awful.. i do love jeff. i would not feel happy without him. one of the times he said, "why don't we just be happy and love eachother?" he also said he was more happy with me than mad... but. lately that's not how ive been seeing thingsand it does work both ways. i need to be less sensitive and dramatic. he needs to be less of a dick. i don't know where things are going.. comment

ahh [08 Feb 2006|10:16am] i wonder if anyone cares how my life is. well, ive probably lost all of my credits because i am the laziest person with the most absences in the entire school. i'm thinking i'm not failing but who knows. i am in debt 83 dollars because i purposely broke jeff's phone. me and jeff are bullshit. i am so sick of having to depend on him for rides. especially since he wont get up in the morning. for instance, this morning, he said he would drive me to school, but he sent his dad. it was awkward and his dad came 20 minutes before i was planning to leave, and he said something about the phone AND about cheferring me around. he always says he will do something, and doesn't. he calls me names and flips me off. he pressures me into smoking me weed with him, even after ive already smoked two joints with him and am trying to censerve. and says he likes someone else. of course now he says he just said those things because they were fighting. but basically i realize jeff is the worst boyfriend in the world and i sincerely need to use all the strength i have in my body to break awaY from him. because, despite the fact that he is a huge asshole, inconsiderate, and every time i see or hear from him, i feel another dissapointment, i love him. also, i tell him not to come back to my house, or i don't want to see him or hear from him, but he still comes around anyway. he doesn't care. there have been times i have asked him to leave myself and he said no. and then he's nice. the niceness may only last for 10 minutes, but it makes me feel like im being a jerk not being nice back to him. this is why we have broken up and gotten back together 78 times. I have to tell you, i think my confidence, academic performance, and mood would be much better if it wasn't for my NOW ex boyfriend jeff. I wish the phone would have mad ehim hate me. If he hated me, then i would get over him faster and then never have to deal with his shiit... or is LOOOOVE the most important thing? does nothing else matter? i am a person who usually acts on her feelings but right now i am being rational, and i get the feeling that my life would be better without him. I usually get irritated when people write about personal things like their love life on the internet but at this point i don't care. Jeff and I don't respect eachother. our relationship is a joke. 30000 comment

[02 Jan 2006|01:53pm] im doing OK in school. work is good too. yesterday i hung out with jeff and danielle and natasha and others. this weekend was good. i tried to buy presnts but onky got a couple of cheap thiungs. i had a 30 dollar check on friday because i only worked 2 days on thanksgiving week. Friday was the holiday party aty my work... it was fine. everythings good. i dont know what to get my boyfriend for christmas. i wish i could think of something really good. i dont know what... his birthday will be bewtter because i have more time to save and plan. i dont even know hwat I want!! i need money. my mom owes me 15.. OH YEAH. my spanish teacher is going to let me baby sit for her wooot! i want to do beter in life. i need new binders and i need to find my spanish book AND math book. lastly, i need to swithc rooms with my mom, but im too lazy and my room is covered in clean clothes. i dont understand the lure of an Ipod. i might get one... but i already have cds and a record player.. and i just got a new cd book from my aunt, and i want to fill it up! ssorry i didnt write about anything insightful or cool. SEE YA! comment

[03 Nov 2005|10:44pm] tODAY WAS SO CUTE. i saw gianna in her feetsie pajamas. and me and des and mollie watched babies together it was so fun. Chuckie's leaving and i don't know what to say to him. all i know is i dont want him to. it makes me really sad. comment

[01 Nov 2005|09:46am] saturday was fun. a lot of people dressed up which made my day. i was a peacock. I liked it kind of, but it wasnt the costume i was really envisioning. yesteday i went trick or treating with emily and her friends. i was spongebob. (thanks mp!!) my peacock costume isnt too good anymore. i didnt stop to think how impratical a mask on a stick and some feathers on my ass would be all night, but eh. BYb comment

[31 Oct 2005|04:23pm] new screename.. im not sure if im going to use it.. ive had the same screename forever. oCurveyOedgeO 20000 comment

[26 Oct 2005|07:34pm] Blessed be innocence, smiles from the heart, Small dimpled fingers that take things apart, Noses that wrinkle at spinach and such, Eyes filled with wonder for they see so much. Blessed be questions with no easy answers, Bubble-bath swimmers and mud-puddle dancers, Climbers and diggers and builders and bakers, Dreamers and gigglers and up-at-dawn wakers, Hearts that are gentle, wills that are strong, Minds learning left from right, and right from wrong. Blessed be hugs that wrap tight 'round your knees, Sweet angel voices that sigh, "Once more, please?" Blessed be sleepy eyes, each little yawn… Blessed be childhood before it is gone. i wish i was still a kid. i love my job. comment

[25 Oct 2005|01:24pm] Well, if you're travelin' in the north country fair, Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline, Remember me to one who lives there. She once was a true love of mine. Well, if you go when the snowflakes storm, When the rivers freeze and summer ends, Please see if she's wearing a coat so warm, To keep her from the howlin' winds. Please see for me if her hair hangs long, If it rolls and flows all down her breast. Please see for me if her hair hangs long, That's the way I remember her best. I'm a-wonderin' if she remembers me at all. Many times I've often prayed In the darkness of my night, In the brightness of my day. So if you're travelin' in the north country fair, Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline, Remember me to one who lives there. She once was a true love of mine. 10000 comment

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